Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Op!era: Neither a Borrower Nor a Lender Be



In an effort to stuff a little culture into our lives, I decided we should slap on our Sunday-go-tuh-meetin' clothes and attend the op!era. A quick tutorial--one must say "opera" like this: Op! clearly making a popping sound with the "p", then continuing on with er, . . . aaahhh, as in, "Er, aaah, I'm not so sure I want to sit through all of that quavering singing which is rattling those Swarovski crystal chandeliers hanging oh-so-precariously above my head. Can I just skip it?"

I'm pretty positive that some patrons in attendance thought they were going to see Oprah instead of the op!era. I heard some of them grumbling about being extremely disappointed after having just sat through three hours of vibrato, and there was not even a Pontiac car give-away at the end.

Here is a sample of what transpired during those three hours.
Full disclosure: There was no live horsey in the production we saw.
Nor was there quite as much, um, well, you know.
As I sat there watching the op!era feeling all hoity-toity and high-society-ish, I kept wondering to myself how many of my fellow audience members were silently singing along with the music but substituting the French lyrics being sung on stage for the lyrics of a classic Gilligan's Island episode wherein Herald Hecuba mounts Shakespeare's Hamlet using the music from Carmen. Don't know what I'm talking about? Gee whiz, go get some culture, and watch some after-school t.v.!


LYRICS SUNG BY GILLIGAN
THE TOREADOR SONG FROM "CARMEN" BEGINS
Stage is cobbled together with bamboo poles
Curtain made of the castaways' discarded clothing

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,      
Do not forget: Stay out of debt;      
Think twice, and take this good advice from me,      
Guard that old solvency.      
There’s just one other thing you ought to do,      
To thine own self be true.

(Wait.  A curtain made from the castaways' discarded clothing? Did you catch that? And they had extra clothing?  For a three-hour tour?  A three-hour tour?  I know that Ginger and Lovey had loads of extra junk, but why did Skipper have extra blue shirts and khaki pants, enough to be sewn into a stage curtain?  Perhaps he had a premonition of the weather getting rough and the tiny ship being tossed.  Golly, if not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost.  The Minnow would be lost!)  Are you lost?  Trust me.  This is funny stuff.


6 comments:

Jenni Elyse said...

I hope you had a good time, even if it was a little hoity toity.

The Morris Family said...

Addison sat on my lap completely enthralled by the video of Carmen. I think she thinks she is hoity toity. (I'm trying really hard not to burst that bubble!)

Ashley said...

We've only been to the opera once, but we had lots of fun! That's the best GI episode, but I can't find a clip of it on youtube. :(

Lisa said...

Oh! You are so hilarious! Good for you for going to the op!era. And good for you for making it real via Gilligan's Island!

Beth said...

A little bit of culture never hurt any body! (well okay, it would probably kill Gwyl!)

BTW - I thought that Ginger was stranded in an evening gown! Who wears a bikini under their evening gown! Oh, wait, who wears an evening gown on a 3 hour boat ride!

J, A & A said...

I can't say I've ever been to the opera, but I definitely have watched Gilligan's Island, so thanks for the fun flashback :). Haha.