Thursday, August 12, 2010

Heaven Help Me


I'm stuck. Totally at a loss for the perfect words. (And for those of you who regularly read my ramblings here, I'm quite confident you deem me so annoyingly verbose that as you read each post you simply want to slap your forehead and shriek at me through your monitor to JUST CLAM UP AND GET TO THE DING DONG POINT ALREADY! Heads are nodding at that.) (Ooh! While we're on the subject . . . I know, I know, I'm only digging a deeper grave for myself. But anywho! Just gotta point out that now you might understand why I haven't even entertained the notion of being a tweeter. It would probably take up to eight, maybe nine tweets for me to merely inform ya'll that I'm STILL stuck behind check-writing-granny at Hot Topic (say what?) in the University Mall. 140 characters per tweet? Uh, no. 14,000? Now you're talkin', mister.)

But, this time around the words aren't coming.

My precious Ashley and Jordan and Kimball will be leaving in two (waaahhh) days. Leaving. As in, U-Haul leaving. As in, moving far away. Far away from me.

My feelings about this are all a tumble-jumble. I am so happy that they have the opportunities to continue with Jordan's schooling and further him on the path to his awesome dream job. But, then.

Yes, then.

So, yeah. They will be moving far away. From me. How do other moms/grandmamas do it? My heart is so tender right now, and I seriously have no words . . . except to say with a little catch in my throat: Oh, how I love them so! My oh my, how I love them. With all of my heart. And all of my soul. I love them so.

Hey? Do me a huge-ish favor and indulge me? Watch these videos I put together of my sweet Ash and her little fam. These will rip your heart right out of its socket. They do mine.

If you click on the four-arrow icon, it will show in full-screen mode. Sorry I couldn't stream them together--I'm just not that tech-savvy. IMPORTANT: Sorry about the third video, cuz apparently I'm treading on somebody's music copyright (Hey, Sony! Loooove you, David Gilmour!), so if it doesn't play for you, you'll have to do some heavy lifting, and click on the arrow as if to start the video, then click where it will subsequently say, "Watch on YouTube." Do that, and it'll take you right to it. No detours, I promise.









"She's leaving home. Bye, bye."
--Lennon/McCartney






Heaven help me.

Sigh.

11 comments:

Lisa said...

I feel your pain, my sister. This is how it has worked for me: As long as they are happy, I can manage it. Always have a date in mind for your next visit so you will always have something to look forward to. Download SKYPE! You'll be fine.

Melissa said...

Oh, sadness. I'm so sorry that you're losing your baby and her baby. I have to confess that I have been secretly envious of your mother/daughter/grandbaby time together. You are so lucky to have each other, and I'm sure you'll talk on a daily basis.

It'll be a tough transition for both of you. Hang in there, sister!

Deon said...

Lisa, the Skype thing will be my salvation! We've already been doing it a bit with Ash so I know it is a nifty substitute, and I do keep telling myself over and over that at least I can turn to Skype at any time (unlike with my missionary :})!

Melissa, I sure hear you when you talk about our time together. Believe me, I have cherished it. When we were living in Naperville all those years, I remember so distinctly going to the store, etc., and seeing adult daughters and mothers together and being super-duper jealous since my own mom lived 1,400 miles away.

Thanks for your support, ladies!

Gwyl said...

When Jenifer move to Vernal and had her little Addi we used the ichat feature on our computers to talk very often. I think that is why Addi and I have such a bond because we talked nearly every day. It's not as good as face to face but it still works really good.

And they do come home to visit once in a while.

Jeanne said...

I have the perfect solution: When your children leave you, GO WITH THEM! It's the only way. Stay as long as they will let you. And then come home secure in the knowledge that you have raised them well enough that they can flourish and grow without you. And this is the joy of it all!

Beth said...

San Diego is a great place to visit! Lots and lots of skymiles! They work both ways! Like Gwyl said, IChat was our lifesaver with little Addi! We/she looked forward to seeing and talking to each other everyday! I know it is a heartbreaker! But look at the wonderful job that you have done raising such a strong beautiful daughter! Now it's her time to soar! Big grandma hugs to you!

The Morris Family said...

The nerve of some people!!! To think they can move that far away! (I'm totally kidding! I hope that my stupid little joke put a smile on your face if for just a moment!)
I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. It breaks my heart thinking about Addison leaving and she is only 3! But on the bright side, at least they are going to a beautiful place with many, many wonderful things to see and do when you go to visit (which I hope will be a lot!).
What I would like to know is how is Grandma Bea dealing with this? She adores Kimball! (As does everyone!)

Shane, Liz and all the Crew said...

Deon,

I am so sorry that your girl is leaving you! Juliette and Sherm prayed for that Madison job, but I thought I had them beat! They got the job after all and it IS the best thing for them, only I am missing my little Katelyn and Briggs! (oh, and Juliette and Sherm)
I don't have any encouraging words for you...just that having a kid move away totally stinks and oh, how i wish i could turn back the clock to the time that they were mine..all mine and I didn't have to share them with anyone else!
My heart goes out to you!
(is this what they mean when they say we have to "endure to the end"?)

love,
liz

Shane, Liz and all the Crew said...

I did have a great time reliving Kimball's crazy capers as I watched that video!

Ashley said...

We have to go now, but WE LOVE YOUUUU! Come and visit! Thanks for everything.

Kathleen said...

So, when I get married you are hired to do the photo sequences! Those are awesome Dee. I can't imagine having her move so far away. You'll get through it. You've got skype and there's these fancy new things these days called airplanes! I can only imagine how many times you are going to be flying down to see them.