Monday, September 13, 2010

Pinky Out! Remember: Pinky Out!

Since Miss Manners was apparently booked elsewhere (I'm thinking perhaps at Snooki's?--you know what a classy act she can be . . . ), our local tribe of fourteen tween-age girls asked me to (mis?)inform them on the do's and dont's of table manners. Why would they ask me? Me! Of all people!? Most likely it was because I am such a stellar example of the "dont's" of good manners, and we all know that it is as important to witness what NOT to do as it is to understand what one SHOULD do. I'll bet the leaders told those little girls to simply ignore much of my "do's", whispering to them throughout my presentation: "Pssst! Just ignore that part." "Pssst! That's waaaaay wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong." "Pssst! She doesn't know what in the high heck she's talkin' about. Just humor her until she hands out those chocolate bonbons. Then we are so outta here!"

Of course, I instructed them on the usual: Don't shoot peas through your drinking straw (or your nose--something might get stuck up there, and well, that's just gross); no elbows on the table (feet are sorta optional); wait for your hostess to leave the room before you surreptitiously jab your fork into your Uncle Herbert's thigh to get him to stop snoring and snap his head back up; and so forth.

The girls felt very grown up and all hoity-toity, but after a while, I could tell that if we didn't wrap up soon, the novelty would quickly wear off, and they would be back to flinging their garlic mashed potatoes into their best friend's ear. (Aaah, I can so relate to that. I'm still washing the pepperoni smell out of my hair from our little guy's latest rant at Chuck E. Cheese. He so, so, so wanted to ride that mechanical pony, but the manager very clearly and succinctly stated, "nuh uh." Whoa. Look out! MAJOR MELTDOWN THAT DAY!!! . . . okay jk about that. But it COULD HAVE happened--he does like his mechanical ponies, I must say . . .)

I wanted to inspire these little princesses to seek their extraordinary potential, so I left them with this thought:
A true princess isn't a diva;
a true princess recognizes that she is a
daughter of God and acts accordingly.

That goes for our little prince too. Right, coughdavecough Buckeroo Boy?

jk about that Chuck E. Cheese meltdown. But just TRY to deny him his nightly dose of Lucy and Ricky and Ethel and Fred--then you really would see more than just a meltdown; you just might see a grown buckeroo cry.


Jenni Elyse said...

You were asked because you are Miss Manners! I know I don't have near as good manners as you do!

Lisa said...

How fun is this! You are the PERFECT choice to teach these little princesses how to behave at the dinner table...a dying art, I might add. As the years go by, they will recall many of your little hints and suggestions. Love it.

Melissa said...

I want to be in your ward. You make everything more fun than it should be.

Think I can call you into my YW? Boundaries don't REALLY matter, right?!

Beth said...

What a group of beautiful Princesses! (I know a thing or two about Princesses myself!) I'm sure that they all had the time of their lives!

Melissa said...

PS - This reminds me of the etiquette scene in A League of Their Own. (9 minute mark)

Deon said...

Oh man, Melissa. Hopefully I didn't come across to those little girls as such a snoot as this lady! This clip is great :D

Shane, Liz and all the Crew said...

calling on my tech-savy friend!
walk me through the steps to import a you tube video to a dvd. is this something you can do? my husband wants to show a mormon message at a meeting this weekend! how to do it, without just using the internet (with all the all-too-revealing side bar videos being advertised!) is a mystery to me!

here is my email:

thanks! you da man! errr...woman!

J, A & A said...

Haha, that's so cute! I love the set up...I'm sure the girls were in heaven. Also, I never did the hang of the pinkie-out thing...I'd make horrible royalty.