Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Oh, Deer!

I want you to meet one of about a dozen buddies of mine who come by every single night for a quick munch 'n mingle. They never fail to scare the pants off me whenever I turn and happen to glance out the den window and see them staring back at me while merely five feet away. Their stare is kinda like, oh, I don't know, kinda like a deer caught in the headlights type of a look, ya know?

I would make formal introductions with ya'll, but I don't want to get that cozy with this particular herd of pals. They ate my arborvitae plants, after all. All 15 of them. And then they came back the next year and did it again with the new batch that Farmer Dave painstakingly planted in their place. They also eat my tulips. And my bushes. And almost anything in my yard that has a stitch of life in it. Except for my daffodils. They won't touch the daffodils. That little detail must have slipped passed them during the negotiations of our formal binding contract of 2011. To wit:

Article II, Paragraph 5--The party of the first part (Obnoxious Herd of Deer) may devour and destroy any and all living things within the Sagers' yard with the sole exception of the party of the second part's (Deon) happy little yellow daffodils. If this clause of the binding contract is breached, then, . . . ha! ha! then, so what? Who's gonna stop the party of the first part from eating said daffodils? The party of the second part is not a gun totin' party, sooooo, have at it you, you, you, you party of the first part! And feel free to leave your droppings on the party of the second part's front walk too. Apparently, the party of the first part gets to have their cake/arborvitae/daffodils and eat them too!


Photo taken through my den window. Note how my reflection is totally spooked-out.
Obviously, this dude couldn't care less about me or my binding contract. I think I could nail him on peeping tom charges, however.

See these two trees? They used to be identical twins in every way--shape, size, symmetry, foliage, branches, likes, dislikes, boxers vs. briefs, etc., etc. But, then! Then, THE HERD had its way with poor little Sapling No. 2, that sorry little half-tree to your left. It will now and forevermore walk with a slight gimp . . . .

Makes me kinda sad.


The Morris Family said...

Poor little tree! I hope the other trees in the neighborhood don't start making fun of him! It's not his fault!

Lisa said...

I love how you refer to it as "munch n mingle"!!!

Dave said...

It was actually 22 trees that they ate (well really 44 if you count the replanting). No wonder they keep coming back, We provide the with the best food money can buy!!!

Ashley said...

I like the picture of the light shining behind the deer! Kind of artsy.