Thursday, March 10, 2011

Don't Breathe This!

If you've been paying attention, boys and girls, you need to know that you have witnessed a miracle! Or, as I like to say, a mur-a-kull. (Thank ya-uuuuuuh. Thankyaverymuch.)

Remember a while ago, back before Charlie Sheen started "WINNING!"--way back when I brought you to your knees in tears of sheer boredom by blah blah-ing here about the fact that I didn't kill anything? Like yeast? It's true! I didn't kill the yeast while making my bread! But better still, and get this--I didn't kill any of us! We're still alive! We ate that bread and did! not! die! Praise the heavens and sing hallelujah! Nunny nunny boo boo! We didn't die-eye! We didn't die-eye! That is such a load off of my mind, I just gotta tell ya, the fact that I didn't kill any of us. Oh, the relief. Whew.

So! Speaking of my Blendtec (and, yes we were, just so you know), do you happen to remember this? (Go look.) Bic lighters, X Box360, vuvuzelas, you name it, these Blendtec guys have tried to blend it. I never imagined way back when I wrote that post (did you go look?) that I would be conducting "Will It Blend?" experiments of my very own. But here I am, gathering up wheat kernels, ice cubes, bananas, strawberries, active credit cards (say what? DAAAAAAAVE! Dave! Did you sneak my credit card into the Blendtec again?), etc., and blending a-go-go until my family eventually screams for the madness to just stop.

For a spectacular display, I'm thinking of throwing our leather sofa into my Blendtec just to see if it will blend. Any other suggestions? I'm game for anything. Just don't tell Dave. He's such a fussbudget when it comes to having to replace pieces of furniture and such. Boo. :(


And now for some classy, high-brow entertainment wherein the Blendtec dude blends an iPad! So cool!




Actually, I think I've got somebody (ahem) runnin' scared. Truth be told, I am feeling pretty giddy and reckless about my new toy kitchen accessory and all that it can do. For some reason or another, Christian seems to be a little wigged out about me and my Blendtec. Weird. Hey! Did he happen to tell you about his favorite Christmas gift? Wonder if he'd let me borrow it, just for a sec . . .


6 comments:

Lisa said...

I love starting my morning off with a great laugh!

Jenni Elyse said...

Um, if I were Christian, I'd run a way! Also, I hope you saw the message, "Do not do this to your iPad." I think it's sound advice.

Kathleen said...

Hahaha! Awesome!! What are you going to do without Christian around? You'll be calling him to come home because you need him for your antics. =)

The Morris Family said...

I agree with Jenni. I would be running scared too, if I were Christian.
I'll bet you make some mean smoothies in that blendtec of yours!

Gwyl said...

ipad smoothies??? Yum Yum! I'll bet there is an app for that! :-)

Dave said...

The credit card MUST go! I will even use a conventional blender to do my dirty work :)