Thursday, April 07, 2011

A Tutorial on Proper Wedding Attire

Oooh look! Our names are up in bright lights!

When this little piece of correspondence finally arrives in our mailbox, there's going to be Trouble with a capital "T" and that rhymes with "P" and that stands for Pre-dic-a-dic-a-dic-a-dic-a-ment for me. (And just where is that royal invite, anyway? I just KNOW it is on it's way, but the waiting, waiting, waiting can be such a nuisance.) Anyway, as I was saying, according to the invitation (which is certain to be in my mailbox aaaaaaany day now, ANY DAY NOW!!! ANY! DAY! NOW! petite foot stamp, stamp, stamp), the dress for the event is listed as: "Uniform, Morning Coat or Lounge Suit." SAY WHAT NOW? Lounge suit? Did I just read, lounge suit? Please say no. Please say no. Please say no. Because if lounge suiters are allowed at the royal gala, this is where Trouble with a capital "T" starts to hit the fan. I'll warn you right here and now that once that invitation arrives and Dave reads the dress code, he's going to dust off his favorite lounge suit, don his platform shoes, cue the Bee Gees with a wink and a nod, and bust a vein breaking out his moves. Oh me. I can just kiss my royal social life good-bye right this moment. Ta ta. {royal pout}

A lounge suit? Really? I think Kate and I need to have a little afternoon tet-a-tet and rethink this whole lounge suit idea. I mean, think about it. She'll have a bunch of upper-crust swav-ish types sporting the "Morning Coat":

And a bunch of old geezers dripping with Euros and royal swords wearing the "Uniform":

And Dave wearing this little number, the "Lounge Suit":

Hey? Um, Kate? D-d-d-d-do you have anyone besides your little college roommate advising you here? Anyone? Anyone? Cuz, this royal wedding thing is kind of a big deal. Are you absolutely positive this is the type of outfit you want showing up at your multi-million dollar, eyes-of-the-entire-free-world-will-all-be-on-you affair? Oooookkkkkkaaaay. Don't blame me when your future father-in-law and his largish ears goes all ballistic when Dave shows up in . . . what's that now? Get out! Seriously? Seriously?

Wait a sec.

Blink, blink.

A lounge suit is NOT the same thing as a leisure suit?



Well then! Well, um, gee, um, in that case, nevermind.*

Alrighty then! See you at the wedding! Pip, pip! Cheerio! And all that rot! (Just remember to get that blasted invitation here post haste, Kate! I already fear that you have egregiously violated the hard and fast rules of proper wedding etiquette by being so tardy with our invitation. Your soon-to-be Grammy Liz is gonna be royally ticked off at you . . . . )

Speaking of the royal wedding (we'll be there! just as soon as we get our invite!), consider investing in this classy bit of memorabilia. Hey, give it a chance; you just may want to go for it. And if not that, then perhaps this? And, finally, what loyal royal watcher would ever want to be without this?


Beth said...

Hilarious! I plan on being the highest bidder for those awesome pez dispensers!

Kathleen said...

What about this??

I personally like the hats. I totally want the pez dispenser too!

Jen said...

It is agreed! We all want those PEZ dispensers. Althought, I would be all right with the toilet seat lid. That would go fashionably well in my loo.

I think Dave would look absolutely royal in his leisure long as that suit were royal blue! :)