Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Olde Candy Shoppe (And When I Say "Olde," I Really Mean "Olde"!)




HEY, KIDS!  DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? THAT'S RIGHT!  IT'S REDEMPTION TIME!  

Are you still reeling from the sight of all of this c-c-c-c-c-aaaaaaaaaandy from my last post?  I want to make something perfectly clear:  Much of the candy you saw in my display isn't really edible.  The reason it isn't really edible is because a good share of it harks back to many days of yore, as in bunches and bunches of Easters of yesteryear.  

Do you see those Peeps in the large glass container pictured below?  Those Peeps will cost you about $950 per Peep if you try to eat one because it will break your tooth right in half with its hard-as-cementness due to the fact that these Peeps are not anywhere close to being new to my stash.  And, that very large chocolate bunny?  Same for him.  Actually, if you look closely, you will see where a guest at Christian's missionary open house tried to sneak a bite off of this bunny's right ear.  (Yeah! I know!)  Obviously, the past expiration and petrified chocolate was mightier than the tooth.  If I really wanted to track down the perpetrator, all I would need to do is look for one of our pals who is sporting a brand spankin' new pair of dentures.  I won't do that though because, uh, obviously, this person has already received enough punishment for his or her bunny ear infraction as it is--I hear that dentures really are not the rollicking barrel o' fun that sooooo many people claim.

You can scoff if you want, but I think my Easter candy recycling system is pretty swell.  See, I save a boatload of money each year by pulling out this fossilized candy rather than buying all new junk, and the resident waistlines at our house can blame something other than my pretty Easter display if their tummies happen to grow a touch larger.  I'm completely innocent of that, Your Honor!  Although I must say, there are those people who will risk a trip to their dentist no matter how much I warn them . . . .




As hard as rocks, I tell ya!



Hmmm.  Are those really teeth marks in Mr. Bunny's right ear?




Why, yes.  Yes, they are teeth marks!  Look at that!



More evidence from the rear view.




Exhibit "A"



Exhibit "B"






I rest my case, Your Honor.  I will take responsibility for neither a new set of dentures nor extra poundage tipping the bathroom scales.  I've done my part by being a horrible hostess and presenting mineralized candy goods to my guests.  I wash my hands of all of the subsequent fallout. 


(Hang the food-safety issues--just as long as it looks pretty, I think we're good to go!  :})

2 comments:

Jenni Elyse said...

I can't believe someone tried to eat the bunny! I'll admit if I hadn't been free from sugar that day, I may have stolen a few jelly beans, but I would've never dreamed to eat the bunny!

I guess being chocolate, you can easily repair him by melting and something the teeth marks. But, it does give him some character and a fun story.

Emily Ann said...

I am guilty of eating those peeps... Now I hate peeps.