Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Where Dat Little Dude Guy?

 Another fun evening spent whoopin' it up at my much beloved Hale Center Theater watching "Kiss and Tell," a 1943 broadway play with the main character sporting the name Corliss! Who names their kid, "Corliss" anyway? Especially if that kid is a girl? (Says the girl with the non-too-popular name . . . . )

Now, when I wrote "whoopin' it up," I really mean, WHOOPIN' IT UP! I was sicker than a dog and had the worst coughing attack I think I have ever experienced in my lifetime right in the middle of the play. Since I was sitting right next to Sean's darling date and I didn't want her to think I was kindly passing along the plague to her, I gulped and gulped and gulped and did a bunch of shoulder lurches and body jerks and clamped my mouth shut and stifled any and all breath until I literally had a river of tears running down my cheeks in my efforts to hold it all in. Honestly, I thought I was going to die. Right there. In my cushy maroon seat of the Hale Center Theater. Just up and die. Luckily, I didn't. But I did have to use my trusty blanket (see it in pic below) to wipe my river of tears away and take huge cautious breaths to get my heart beating once again. It was rather frightening for many reasons if you want the straight up truth of the matter. One for the books.

Epilogue to the story: Once Dave and I said our goodbyes to Sean and his date, I climbed in our car and busted out a torrent of coughs as I leaned halfway out my open car window (to save Dave), the likes of which you've never seen or heard. I happened to look over just in time to see Sean and his date driving toward us, so I just leaned even further out the window and waved furiously bye-bye to them with both arms as if nothing was going on with me. Nothin' to see here, folks! No plague around here, nuh-uh. Everything's just dandy (as Dave threatens to take me to the insta-care {no joke}). 

Epilogue epilogue to the story (can there be two?): As we were stopped at a red light 30 seconds later, I looked over at a hipster dude sitting in his car right next to ours just in time to see him slack-jawed and starring at me as I had again proceeded to lean halfway out my window and hack up that other lung. I lamely pointed at my throat and gave a smile, and he was all, like, waving his hands as if to say, "Hey. I didn't see anything. Nope. Didn't think you were weird at all."  Whooeee, what a fun night!


The trusty blanket works as both a frostbite preventer as well as a ginorm Kleenex.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

Oh, my dear, I hope you are on the mend and I am so sorry about your "cough", but, oh my, you make me laugh! Your "slice of life" are hysterical! And favorite book EVER as a youth was one I inherited from my mother and it was called: "Meet CORLISS Archer!" Corliss must have been the "Madison" of the 40's! Love you, girl!