Take a Look--But Only If You Have a Chunk of Time To Kill

As promised, here are more than just a few(!) photos from Dave & Dee's New Year's Day Shindig & Wingdings of yore. We started up this nonsense before 2007; however, after meticulously culling my photo files for pictures of those lost years, I came up with absolutely NOTHIN'. I'm starting to think that the coughevidencecough, er, photos of those early years were mysteriously deleted from my computer. No Way! Yes! And on purpose! Gasp! I'm betting it had something to do with that hissy fit Dave threw one year over having the "Little River Band" record album stolen from him in the white elephant gift exchange. Em-bear-esss-ing. Especially when Dave turned that smile into a frown and ran and told Grandma Pauline. (My apologies if some of the photos are mixed into the wrong year. My memory only stretches as far as where the latest shoe sale is being held.)

2007

2008

2009

For as scary looking as that nativity tchotchke is, it sure is popular. Abraham Lincoln's contribution (a nifty five-spot) helps the nativity's image. A ton.

Looks Like Somebody Took Umbrage

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who looked at this list (check it out to reload and refresh your memories) and scratched their noggin, thinking, "Are we even on the same planet as this man?" The author of the article below, Susan Aylworth, takes great pains to be diplomatic and tactful in referring to the previous list (see her opening paragraph), but as delicate as she tries to be, by the very fact that she felt compelled to write this article hints that deep down she must have blown a gasket, hurled the first list across the room at her husband, and simply said, "that man!" as her husband probably blinked at her in alarm, but managed to keep his mouth shut. He's a quick learner; two or three tries at defending his gender must have taught him a big lesson.

Although I still feel like a slacker as I glance over this list, I can at least pronounce the book titles (as opposed to that other loony list), and I have even managed to see my way through to the end of a few of these selections. Yes I have, Mr. Skeptical. Interestingly, most of these books are written by women. I'm not trying to make any sort of a superiority statement with that, I'm just pointing out that women rule.

Oh, okay! I'll pacify you men out there; I'll try that again: I'm just pointing out that women rule . . . on this particular book list. Is that better? Love ya, guys!

Click on list to see if any of your faves are included.

Mine? "To Kill a Mockingbird." Near perfection.

Just Be Sure to Duck!

Christian and I took a jaunt to our local Wiggly Piggly Henny Penny Grocery Mart yesterday. Sheesh. You would think that with spell check and all, store employees would be able to avoid this type of embarrassment:

Don't they know that it isn't spelled ELECTRINICS? Even I, Idaho born, can tell you it is spelled LECTRONICS. Lectronics, people! Goodness to pete.

I suppose the good samaritan shopper who took it upon himself to make the edit on this sign was absent from school the day the spelling list also included the word SELECTION. (He was probably off playing hooky with the dude who made the sign.)

And just out of idle curiosity, why would those pretty pink and red and white M&Ms be displayed right next to those oh-so-boring ugly black cable thingies anyway? Apparently, they have no sense of aesthetic taste at that store. It's either that or the store management thinks that all of those macho guys buying their 52" LCD televisions will suddenly turn tender-hearted and grab a 12 oz. bag of conversation hearts for their wives for Valentine's Day and call it good. Hey, a 1080p resolution tv for him, a 12 oz. bag of chalky candy for her. Yes sir. Those guys are home free! (Or so they wish.) Stiletto shoe through a flat screen, anyone?

LXXXXII or XCII, Your Choice

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST

WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, LOVING,

UNSELFISH, RIGHTEOUS

MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER AND

GREAT GRANDMOTHER!!!

My mother is one of the most amazing people I know. She is 92 years old and is still keeping her own house, doing her own shopping, always keeping up with the current events, looking out for her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She rarely complains about anything except when the snowplow leaves a mess at the end of her driveway preventing her from driving to one of her beloved Daughters of the Utah Pioneers meetings. (If she's really in a mood, she will take matters into her own hands and shovel herself out. Easy does it!)

She loves to visit and play games with her family. Her mind is as sharp as a tack, so don't try to cheat at Scattergories--she'll do that herself (and defend her logic quite effectively). She keeps herself looking as cute as a button and will always notice if I am wearing something new. She is a mover and a shaker, that one. Good luck getting Mom to sit still for more than 30 minutes--she always says, "I'm NOT a rocking chair grandma!" No siree.

I love my mom for the values and morals she instilled in me simply by her example. Cheating at Scattergories aside, Mom would never consider doing anything dishonest, even driving an hour back to a store to return five cents. Although it sounds like a cliche', Mom was always putting the needs of her six little rascals before her own. Her family still means everything to her. Everything.

I couldn't have wished for a better mom than my mom. I'm so glad that she's mine. I love her so.

Making a wish for a bright red Ferrari that can go 0 to 60 in

3.2 seconds flat

Having charmed our waiter, Mom proceeds to break his heart telling him she's booked for next Saturday night (DUP meeting and all . . . )

Four generations of that good ol' Idaho pioneer stock

(Apparently, the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers choose not to discriminate.)

¡Qué Guapo!*

This should bring in the baptisms by the dozens don't you think?

*¡Qué guapo! Literal translation: An extraordinarily handsome and dashing luchador named Elder Sagers who will charm you with his vast gospel knowledge and his dazzlingly white smile! ¡Qué guapo!

Going Retro

If you hang around this blog long enough, eventually it will dawn on you that I and all those living with me are basically a pack of nerds. And you don't even have to try to hide your pity for us, because we know we are a pack of nerds. And we LIKE it.

So onward to some nerdness!

What do you get when you take an old vinyl record album and lovingly mold it, shape it, coax it, humor it, nurture it, bend it to your will, force it to comply, completely change it to make it into exactly what you want it to be? Oh wait. I'm sorry. We were talking about a record album right? I got carried away thinking about my husband.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place an inverted 8" diameter metal bowl on cookie sheet. Find the goofiest vinyl record album in your collection--something that makes a statement about who you are. William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" would be an ideal choice for this project. (C'mon. I KNOW you have one of Captain Kirk's albums laying around somewhere. Everybody does. No need to hang your head in shame.) Anywho! Take the album and fling it across the room like a Frisbee until you chop off someone's ear. Oops. No. Place it over the inverted metal bowl. Put the whole contraption into the oven and watch closely. As the vinyl begins to melt, use oven mitts or another metal bowl to ease the album into the desired shape. Return to oven if the vinyl is not flexible enough to mold. Allow to cool.

Display the bowl in the most conspicuous place possible in your professionally decorated home; this just screams high-society "CLASS-EE!"

Honey Spiced Pretzels

4 cups pretzel sticks or twists

3 tablespoons honey

2 teaspoons margarine, melted

1 teaspoon onion powder

1 teaspoon chili powder

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Line cookie sheet with aluminum foil; spray with cooking spray. Place pretzels in large bowl. Mix remaining ingredients; drizzle over pretzels, stirring to coat.

Spread pretzels evenly on cookie sheet. Bake 8 minutes, stirring once. Cool on sheet. Loosen pretzels from foil. Store in airtight container at room temperature.

The Answer

You came back! Oh, I knew you would come back. I feel validated now. And for those of you who don't understand that reference, I'm sad for you. Kidding! Just go back one post for some cuteness and to get back into the loop. Hurry along, now. Don't be late.

In keeping with the adorable we're-not-too-old-for-a-toys-R-us theme, Christian delivered this answer late at night to the jack-in-the-box girl's front porch:

She triggers each button, and voila', she has her answer:

And now for the rest of the story (to be read in Paul Harvey's deep {and dead} voice): Unfortunately, Christian never did attend the preference dance because of the last-minute decision by the American Fork Marching Band to compete in the Grand Nationals in Indianapolis. The jack-in-the-box girl who asked Christian to the dance just couldn't muster up the energy to trot out to the midwest for a date, so she asked someone else. Christian tells us that apparently the "someone else" reported that he received his very first kiss EVER the night of the dance. From the jack-in-the-box girl. Huh. Missed opportunity or a dodged bullet? I'm not saying a thing.

The Question

Yeah, I know I am kind of pokey about sharing this with you, and I know you have all been waiting, just waiting with baited breath for it! So here ya go.

This request showed up on our front porch late one night all by its lonesome:

Adorable, as in A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!

Mosey on back here tomorrow to see Christian's answer. (Ha! Making you wait until tomorrow is one way to keep you tuned in--which is more than Jay Leno is doing with his dwindling audience at the moment.)