Monday, February 28, 2011

Cigarette, Anyone? No? Then How About a Gun for Baby?

What were we thinking? Whoa up--no, no, no! It's more like, what were THEY thinking?! Don't rope me into these astonishing and staggeringly unbelievable advertisements! These ads were definitely from a different generation with enormously different attitudes and standards and mores and etiquette and rules and morals and just about everything else that is contained in these ads. Hey! The worst my generation ever gave the world was a toothy but wholesome brother-sister act and the Brady Bunch. Oh, and also the mullet. (Two out of three ain't bad.) Oh, alright. There was also disco. And stirrup pants. But, hoo boy! We did NOT go around peddling heroin in family newspapers, I can tell you that! That was somebody else's generation. Grandma? Grandpa? You've got some 'splainin' to do:

Click on images to make them slightly larger.
Believe me, you'll want to read the fine print.




















Saturday, February 26, 2011

He's Gonna Class Up the Joint!




"Y? Because we like you!"
Go on and date yourself by naming the television show that featured this line.
(Hint: It aired before my time. Don't know about you old geezers older folks, however . . . . )



Much classier and much, much more of a chick magnet than a "KICK ME" sign, wouldn't you agree?
(See, Dave? Will you listen to me now?!!!)


Let's all sing it together:


Rise all loyal cougars and hurl your challenge to the foe. You will fight, day or night, rain or snow. Loyal, strong, and true Wear the white and blue. While we sing, get set to spring. Come on Cougars it's up to you. Oh!

CHORUS:

Rise and shout, the Cougars are out along the trail to fame and glory. Rise and shout, our cheers will ring out As you unfold your vict'ry story.

On you go to vanquish the foe for Alma Mater's sons and daughters. As we join in song, in praise of you, our faith is strong. We'll raise our colors high in the blue And cheer our Cougars of BYU.


Too bad you're not here to listen to me belt this out. Lemme tell ya, you are missing out, boys and girls. Seriously. I mean, even the neighbors' dogs usually try to sing along with me, that's how good I am. Those dogs yowl, howl, yelp, and almost whimper whenever I burst forth in song. Isn't that so darn cute? Don't want to toot my own horn, but I take it as something of a compliment. Well, gotta go now. Dave is looking for the cotton balls for some reason or another. Who knows with that man?


CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING ACCEPTED TO BYU, CHRISTIAN! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!
Goooooooooooooooo, Cougars!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I Think a Hangover is a-Comin'!

Look who got totally wasted at our neighborhood Wal-Mart. Apparently on Gatorade.

Or, so the story goes.

Me? I have my doubts. I don't think that it was the Gatorade that strung out this babe. I noticed that the shelf directly above the Gatorade was stuffed with a bunch of "ROCKSTAR ENERGY+CITRUS--CONTAINS 50% MORE CAFFEINE THAN ORIGINAL ROCKSTAR" drinks. You make the call. I'm no nutritionist, but my gut feeling is that babies probably don't need nor do they easily tolerate superabundant amounts of caffeine in their systems before they reach the age of one. Just a guess, but I may be right on this one. Say what you will, but I just betcha I'm right on this one.




I sincerely hope that taking these pictures doesn't qualify me as one of those annoying gawkers. (It's just that it is so hard to look away.)
For the record, I don't think that baby even noticed.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

S IS FOR . . .







S is for . . .

Sterling

S is for . . .

Scholar

S is for . . .

Sagers
(As in, Christian!)

Congratulations to Christian who was awarded the Sterling Scholar in Music from American Fork High School!!! But there's more! Read on.










Now, hold onto your hats everybody, because, we found out at 11:47 p.m. last night that:


S is also for . . .


Yup! After winning at the school level in January, Christian competed at regionals yesterday, and he made state finals! Yes, I did do the "Dawnce of Joy!" Bunches of times! Competition for the finals will be held on March 2 with the winners announced on television on March 23.

S is also for . . .

Selebration!
Syched!
Sertifiably Selestial!

What? Why are you looking at me like that? No, really. What? And, here you thought that my kids got all of their brains from their father. Ha! to that!




So, now. I'm not done yet. Hang in there with me, alrighty? I've got something more to say:

S is also for . . .

Splendid!
Superb!
Sublime!

And that's exactly how I'm feeling about not only Christian, but also about all three of my awesome kids. Truth be told, it was Ashley's uncompromising and determined desire to do her best in school that blazed the way for Sean who always did the same, who blazed the way for Christian to likewise always do and be his best.

S is also for . . .

Siblings who inspire excellence
Siblings who always support each other
Siblings who admire, cherish and love one another

S is also for . . .

SOBBING!
(As in, me.)

Monday, February 14, 2011

I HEART Pink Hearts!






Aren't these just the cutest little treats ever? C'mon! They're pink! They're hearts! They're tiny! They're adorable! Wait. Pink? Hearts? Tiny? Adorable? Sounds like I just described Dave's favorite pair of pants. HEY NOW!

Anywaaaaaaay, back to the treats. With hardly any effort at all (no foolin'), you too can make these sweet little treats and then wow all of the local high school kids with your ersatz culinary talents. Swell, huh! Just shove this mess of sugar off onto your teenager and insist (punctuated with a foot stomp) that he take them to school to spread the LUV around. If my through-the-grapevine source is at all reliable, the LUV was spread around and appreciated by the darling ladies who lunch and the cool dudes who munch every day with my own cool dude. (Poor Christian. The things his momma makes him do . . . .)



Hi-ho! Hi-ho! It's off to school we go!
Whistle, whistle, whistle, whistle!
Hi-ho! Hi-ho!




So, I'm sure you all know this song and dance, but here it is in living color:

Pretty in Pink Treats

3 T butter
40 large strawberry flavored marshmallows
1 t. vanilla extract
5 cups crispy rice cereal*
1 cup white chocolate morsels

Place butter and marshmallows in a large microwavable bowl. Microwave for 60-90 seconds. (My microwave is some sort of monster with wattage a-go-go, so I set mine for only 60 seconds.) When marshmallows have sufficiently poofed and butter has melted, remove from microwave and stir to combine. Stir in vanilla extract. Add cereal and white chocolate morsels and stir until all is coated well with marshmallow mixture. Turn out into a 9X13 pan that has been buttered or sprayed with cooking spray. Spray a bit of cooking spray on hands and pat the mixture to fill the pan. Allow to cool slightly then cut into hearts with an adorable heart-shape cookie cutter. My own adorable heart-shape cookie cutter is about 2".

*The traditional recipe calls for 6 cups of cereal, but that turns this whole glob into the Sahara Desert (IMHO)
, so I go with only 5 cups. Makes a big diff. In a very good way.


OOH! IMPORTANT! Be sure to save the leftover scraps for a little sneak-a-treat. The beauty of sneak-a-treats is that no calories are contained in leftover scraps, right? Especially if eaten while standing at the kitchen sink.




NOW! DO YOU WANT SOMETHING EVEN BETTER? I don't hear you! DO YOU WANT SOMETHING EVEN BETTER? C'mon, let me really hear it! DO YOU WANT SOMETHING EVEN BETTER?!!! Now you're talkin'.

Brace yourselves.

Switch out the strawberry flavored marshmallows for chocolate swirled marshmallows (betcha I've got your attention now), and use milk chocolate morsels instead of the white chocolate morsels, and holy cats, we have a winner! Ding! Ding! Ding! Honest to pete, merely the smell of these makes me giddy with thoughts that I've died and gone to fake chocolate heaven. Unfortunately, our stash of this version didn't last long enough for a picture nor for a trip to the local high school. Don't get your knickers in a knot though; I'm going to whip up another batch of them soon and will be foisting them off onto the teen lunching set cuz they're so bodda-bing easy. So, Christian? Just a heads up there, sport.
Christian? Um, Hi-ho? Christian?


Can't you almost smell that fake chocolate LUV?





Saturday, February 12, 2011

Four on the Floor

Sean and Christian have put together one of the coolest jazz quartets (yeah, man!) this side of New Orleans! Check out FOUR ON THE FLOOR slaying the audience at a Valentine's party last night:


Totally hep.


Dontcha just love the name (ahem)?!

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

"In Jimmer We Trust" and Other Bon Mots



(If you missed it when I wrote this on facebook, here ya go.)

Oh. my. word. This is one of the funniest things I have ever read in my entire life. Go to
this link, then click on "Your epic Facebook thread is on ESPN." Settle down to read a boatload of some of the most hilarious and wickedly clever comments ever. "I just opened my King Jimmer version of the Bible and read about Peter, Jimmer and John." The comments get better and better as the thread goes on. Go. Read.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Gosh. Don't Really Know What to Say . . .

The much lauded and respected former BYU football coach, LaVell Edwards, goes from having his name emblazened onto a humungo football stadium . . .


PM0DbQvVK9kPgwogPAQRig.jpg


. . . to co-starring in:














Whoa.


I suppose all I've got to say after watching that is that LaVell Edwards is a good sport. A very good sport. Make that a very, very good sport. I'd go so far as to say he's a very, very, very good sport. Hey, LaVell! You're a very, very, very good sport!


Whoa.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Oh, Deer!


I want you to meet one of about a dozen buddies of mine who come by every single night for a quick munch 'n mingle. They never fail to scare the pants off me whenever I turn and happen to glance out the den window and see them staring back at me while merely five feet away. Their stare is kinda like, oh, I don't know, kinda like a deer caught in the headlights type of a look, ya know?

I would make formal introductions with ya'll, but I don't want to get that cozy with this particular herd of pals. They ate my arborvitae plants, after all. All 15 of them. And then they came back the next year and did it again with the new batch that Farmer Dave painstakingly planted in their place. They also eat my tulips. And my bushes. And almost anything in my yard that has a stitch of life in it. Except for my daffodils. They won't touch the daffodils. That little detail must have slipped passed them during the negotiations of our formal binding contract of 2011. To wit:

Article II, Paragraph 5--The party of the first part (Obnoxious Herd of Deer) may devour and destroy any and all living things within the Sagers' yard with the sole exception of the party of the second part's (Deon) happy little yellow daffodils. If this clause of the binding contract is breached, then, . . . ha! ha! then, so what? Who's gonna stop the party of the first part from eating said daffodils? The party of the second part is not a gun totin' party, sooooo, have at it you, you, you, you party of the first part! And feel free to leave your droppings on the party of the second part's front walk too. Apparently, the party of the first part gets to have their cake/arborvitae/daffodils and eat them too!


Waaaaahhhh.

Photo taken through my den window. Note how my reflection is totally spooked-out.
Obviously, this dude couldn't care less about me or my binding contract. I think I could nail him on peeping tom charges, however.






See these two trees? They used to be identical twins in every way--shape, size, symmetry, foliage, branches, likes, dislikes, boxers vs. briefs, etc., etc. But, then! Then, THE HERD had its way with poor little Sapling No. 2, that sorry little half-tree to your left. It will now and forevermore walk with a slight gimp . . . .

Makes me kinda sad.